Swirl Antara

thanks for your comments! By the way, it's about weres, but I like to leave it open at the beginning, another reason why it's short. Do you really think that ...

wow....that is really long....you might want to break it into two parts or else reciewers wont want to review it all, or the review will be REALLY me if you ...

space this out and i'll read it plus....you might want to rate it, 'cause from what I sounds pretty dark-ish

Umm....you should probably space this out quite a bit. One huge block is hard on the eyes and many people refrain from reviewing. PM me when you've spaced it a ...

this is.....excellent. Short, to the point and obviously well thought-out PM me when you write more please!!!

There are a few grammatical errors that you probably would have found if you'd gotten someone else to proofread it before posting; just small things so I wont spend any ...

this is interesting and appealing to see.....but I have absolutley no clue what it's about. And why is it upside down?

I agree with squallz, there is too much description. I write that way sometimes too; it can work well sometimes, but to much is just information overload, and the reader ...

It's good!! Who is Miki though? She (and your main character) need a little more background to them. Just add some little things, things that are unique to them as ...

A weak red glow marked the fading horizon. Gentle warm waves washed through the air, whilst hidden between them came icy whispers of winter frost. Summer was dying. The darkened ...

There are several somewhat weird grammatical errors in your story. I underlined them. I looked down at my papers that were covered in a warm glow from the candle next ...

The first paragraph is somewhat vague about the sparkles. The first time I read it, I thought the sparkles came out of his fingers, the second time, in the middle ...

Good story, the first sentence really captures ones atention, but its also somewhat confusing. I didn't understand what you meant until the end of the prologue. Like the other review ...

I like it! Dr. Sullivan stepped into the hospital and took the corridor down to autopsy, her heels clacking on the mint-green linoleum and leaving slight dents. I really doubt ...

with alot of your chapters, you just jump right into the story. The first line is often text and it can take a minute to catch up. some description might ...